Coping with Grief During the Holidays

As we begin to ease into Fall, the remainder of 2022 is also on the horizon. With this time period comes the last of our yearly celebrations, including Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, and so on leading to the New Year. There can be lots of excitement around the corner for individuals and families alike, but also times of gloom and “holiday blues” from missing shared experiences with loved ones.

Together, we will dive into a few approaches to coping with grief during the holidays and how to hold space for all experiences. At Pelican Cove, we push for inclusive backgrounds and lived hardships to be shared and treated in long-term therapy that may help improve your mental health.

Confronting Emotions: One way to cope with grief is to address any emotions that you feel are tied to this time period. This action will become a strong anchor point to reflect on and navigate through, as many will find themselves avoiding any interactions and associations with heartfelt memories. Though running toward the feelings can be a fearful process, it can also be an opportunity to create novel and fruitful experiences that may reshape any previously linked meanings.

Loved Ones and Boundaries: Furthermore, a person can surround themselves with loved ones while setting boundaries around gatherings. Family time and holiday parties tend to be a grand pressure point for folks who are not ready to attend and potentially face delicate relational dynamics. Allow for free expression about your current state-of-mind as well as your wants and needs from each event, even if it means only staying for a short while. Be sure to check-in with yourself and examine what feels right for you.

Healthy Coping Skills: Lastly, look into some coping skills that are best tailored to yourself. Whether you are alone or with friends and family, it can be helpful to have a set of coping skills which you can tune into during times when grief feels most present. Some common strategies include: hiking, meditating, practicing yoga, painting, going for walks, and creating journal prompts and/or validating affirmations. For instance, I find myself engaging in about 10 minutes per day to practice mindfulness and deep breathing exercises to center myself when grief becomes abundant. Take the opportunity to look into actionable steps that allow space from your thoughts, room to feel grounded, and alignment with the present moment.

If you find yourself struggling with subtle or intense grief during the holidays, please do not hesitate to contact us. The holiday season comes with a wide array of experiences and challenges that often go unaddressed, yet each difficulty is welcome to be worked on in our space.

We will be more than happy to assist you on your journey of growth and healing here at Pelican Cove.

Back to School!

It is that time of year again; after a sun-filled summer we are all getting ready to pack up our backpacks and get back into our school routine. After a long break, it can be hard to get back into the groove of an academic routine. This article is going to highlight different ways you can get ready for success at school and with your mental health!

Tip 1:

Establish a Routine, and Start Early!

Going from no school work all day to 5 days a week of work, alarms, and assignments can be overwhelming! Before school starts up, try setting alarms to get used to waking up at the desired time again. Another thing to try is cooking and preparing healthy meals for the entire week. Not only is cooking a great self-care activity, it will save you a ton of time during the week. Slowly preparing for the start of the school year and making a plan to make your work/school day easier will allow you to slowly get adjusted to your school routine.

Tip 2:

Practice compassion and set realistic expectations

Society and outside forces place so much pressure on us to succeed in multiple roles as a student, friend, sibling, child, or an individual. Give yourself grace by recognizing what you have going on in your life. I often hear of high expectations put on students of all ages so learning to recognize your limits and setting boundaries are important skills to practice. Try to balance your life and school work. For instance, try doing homework for 30-45 minutes and then taking a 10-15 minute break. When someone tries to study in big chunks of time it can cause exhaustion and may lead to work being done incorrectly. Taking breaks is so essential!

Tip 3:

Normalize Stressful Emotions

While school starting again can sometimes bring up exciting feelings it can also bring up some anxiety. All the emotions you feel starting school are valid and normal! More people feel the same anxious feelings than you think. Trying your best not to place judgment on these emotions can help, “as the more you push them down, the more they tend to bounce back up” (NAMI). You can try acknowledging the feelings, saying it out loud, writing it on paper, and instead of judging it, thank it as a visitor and tell yourself “this emotion doesn’t define how I am, it is a visitor”. Look into local resources to help with processing these emotions, most college campuses have psychological services available. Although college campus based services may have limited sessions, the counselor you connect with can help you connect with more long-term resources.

At Pelican Cove, we strive to provide affordable long-term therapy to our community! If you need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to us. We are happy to help you connect to local resources in your area. Mental health should be strengthened like a muscle: little by little you can build the skills to take care of yourself this summer and the start of the new school year!

What is Play Therapy (and how is that different from just playing)?

When young children are seen in therapy, usually the preferred modality is through play. We, at Pelican Cove, are excited to have a well-furnished play therapy room through generous donations and hard work by our staff! Our play therapy room is furnished to be a bright and happy place where children can feel welcomed and valued.

When people attend therapy sessions, they are usually expected to reflect on themselves and to articulate that to the therapist so they can engage in a dialogue that can lead to self-awareness, insight, and change. However, the abilities to reflect on one’s thoughts and emotions and to express them verbally do not develop until a child is a little older. Also, as you can imagine, it is difficult for a child to carry on a dialogue about deep and sensitive or painful issues with an adult for an hour! This is where the play comes in as a way to communicate about experiences and feelings, and to rehearse options for change.

During a play therapy session, a child is allowed to play out experiences or thoughts that they are struggling with. This play is interpreted by the therapist who can respond either through play or by helping the child to verbally express the experience. Through repeated play sessions, a child feels increasingly safe to explore beliefs, thoughts, and feelings that they usually keep hidden. Just as it takes a while for an adult to work through difficult concerns, play therapy can take some time, months or sometimes longer, for any improvements to be seen and experienced.

So as you can see, play therapy is very different from regular play that children engage in, just as talk therapy is very different from everyday conversations. We are excited to be able to provide this service to our child clients!